As fireworks begin to light up the sky this Fourth of July, I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom—the kind we celebrate as a country and the kind we can create within ourselves. Because let’s be honest: it’s not always easy to feel free when you’re juggling family, emotions, and the weight of the world.
But I’ve learned that independence doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can start small. And those small steps can lead to a deeper sense of peace, self-worth, and confidence.
Here are a few things I’ve been trying lately to grow my own inner freedom. I hope they’ll help you too.
Learn Something New
You don’t need to go back to school or master a complicated skill. But learning something—anything—builds self-trust. I sharpened my gardening skills last summer. Watching things grow under my care reminded me that I’m still capable of new beginnings.
Spend Time Alone on Purpose
For a long time, being alone felt uncomfortable. But now I treasure solo walks, coffee dates with myself, or even driving without music (yes, that one’s hard for a music mom like me!). Alone time clears the noise and helps me remember what I actually think and feel.
Create Before You Consume
It’s easy to scroll and get swept away in other people’s voices. But making something—writing a few lines, humming a melody, even doodling with your kids—lets your own voice rise up. Start your morning with creation instead of consumption. You’ll feel stronger.
Make a Decision Without Asking for Permission
Whether it’s picking the dinner spot or saying no to something you used to always say yes to—making your own calls builds trust in yourself. Independence grows when we stop outsourcing our choices.
Celebrate Your Strengths
We’re so quick to notice our flaws. But what if you made a list of things you’re good at? Kindness counts. So does listening, keeping a family running, or showing up on hard days. Don’t wait for someone else to recognize your strength—claim it.
Set One Small Boundary
Boundaries can feel scary, especially if you’re used to being a yes-person. But saying no—or “not right now”—is an act of self-respect. Even if it’s just carving out 30 minutes a day for quiet, setting a boundary gives you back some space to breathe.
Ask for Help Without Shame
Independence isn’t about doing everything alone. Sometimes it’s about knowing when to say, “I need support.” That takes courage. And community. And a whole lot of honesty. But it’s worth it.
As moms, we teach our kids a lot by how we live. This Independence Day, I want mine to see that freedom starts on the inside. That strength can be soft. That self-worth doesn’t come from doing it all; it comes from knowing we’re enough, even when we don’t.
So let’s light a spark—inside ourselves. One small step at a time.
The Music Mom: Eileen Carey 