The Music Mom: Eileen Carey

Blog

Filling the Cup of Silence: A Comparison of Music and Wine

wine_music

“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.” ― Robert Fripp

Silence definitely has its place in our hectic everyday lives. Sometimes, though, much like an empty cup filled with our favorite wine, nothing fills that vacant space in our lives better than the right musical notes. Below are just a few of the ways in which wine and music are perfect partners for those of us who consider ourselves aficionados of both.

Much like wine, music can relax you. It can provide a soothing comfort that is the perfect way to end a crazy day. That warm, relaxed feeling that comes from your favorite glass of red or white wine can also be found within several genres of music, including jazz, folk, and classical.

Music, like wine, can be sweet, and it can be bitter. The distinct flavors associated with wine can also be found in music. Sometimes during the happier moments in life, the more saccharine songs are what we want to hear. In contrast, during the more somber times, it feels perfectly right to dive into bitter tunes that are filled with sadness and melancholy.

As nutritionists are now discovering, there are many health benefits to drinking a glass of wine each day. Likewise, we can enjoy several mental, emotional, and even spiritual benefits by pouring ourselves a glass of our favorite music. Music provides healing. It offers a new sense of appreciation for those people and places we have lost. Finally, music inspires us to do that which we deemed unlikely, if not impossible.

Regardless of your preferred flavor of music, I suggest you take some time each day to sip from the cup of your best-loved songs. Perhaps you should do so while also tasting from the glass of your favorite wine.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on June 16, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     ,

Mimicking Mom: A Life Well-Lived Is the Ultimate Mother’s Day Gift

mother-daughter-shrug

One of the best gifts we can give our mother is the knowledge that we want a legacy similar to hers.

Mother’s Day is a time to look back, an opportunity to reflect on how caring and supportive our moms have been. As it should be, Mother’s Day is a day for showing appreciation for the countless ways in which mothers have positively impacted our lives. It is the one day of the year when we consciously shower our moms with affection and honor. While we spend time with our mothers in the here and now, our thoughts are often focused on the past as we recall our childhood and all the times our mom was there for us.

For me, however, this year’s Mother’s Day feels different. As the holiday approaches, memories of my beloved mother have me anxiously looking ahead, rather than reflecting on the past. Inspired by all that my mother did for me while growing up, I am increasingly concerned with how I will be remembered by my children. I am overwhelmed by a strong desire to live up to my mother’s example. In short, I want to be to my children everything my mother was to me.

I hope that my children remember me as a caring, loving, and supportive mother and friend to others. I pray that my children think of me in a positive light, even when I had to discipline them and teach them the difficult lessons of life. I wish for my children to someday realize that they have always been the most important thing to me, and that I consider them my greatest achievement. This is how my mother made me feel as a child and beyond, and I so desperately want my kids to feel the same.

Flowers, gift cards, and jewelry can reflect a certain amount of our love and appreciation for Mom. At a time when we all feel pressure to buy the perfect Mother’s Day gift, perhaps our moms would most appreciate knowing that all we want as parents is to be remembered as we remember them. That all we want is to live the type of life they have lived.

This year I feel as though one of the best gifts I could give my mother is the knowledge that I am determined to live a life that leads to a legacy similar to hers. I am confident that my children will be fortunate if I succeed.

Happy Mother’s Day to you and yours!

 

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on May 6, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     , , , , ,

Live, Love, and Learn (5/17/16)

kid and gift

Time will tell that you are the greatest gift your kids will ever receive.

“Your children need your presence more than your presents.” – Jesse Jackson

As parents, we experience a seemingly endless urge to give stuff to our kids. There is something inherently thrilling about watching their eyes light up as they tear open their new birthday or Christmas gift.

If you’re like me, you always have one eye open for possible gift ideas, anticipating a sweet and thoughtful present for your child. But it is important to remember that being there for our kids is infinitely more important than getting them things. They need (and subconsciously want) our time and attention.

Excuse the play on words, but we can give to our kids no more meaningful presents than our presence.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on May 3, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

Live, Love, and Learn (5/2/16)

Baby imitating mom

Even at this age, kids are masters of imitation. Listening, not so much. 

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” – James Baldwin

It is quite possible that the eyes are far greater tools for learning than the ears. At least it seems that way when I notice that our children are much more likely to do what we do, rather than what we say. Very often our actions carry greater weight than our words, so let’s remain aware of what we are doing while our kids’ eyes are upon us. They will, at some point, imitate what they see. That might seem like a cause for concern, but in reality, it is not. We are fortunate to be the ones who have a golden opportunity to positively influence our children’s actions by carefully monitoring our own.

 

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on May 2, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     , , , , ,

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, It’s Missing from Society

Steen_Argument_over_a_Card_Game

Social media forums have replaced the public square, but the challenge remains the same: Be respectful to those with whom we disagree. 

It doesn’t take much effort to notice that we live in divisive times. With politicians foaming at the mouth to pit people against each other and with new hot-button issues forming nearly every day, these are the days of sharply contrasting differences. Everyone seems to have an opinion on everything – and thanks to social media, they can easily find someone with a differing opinion. In short, there now seems to be much more that divides us than there is that unites us.

I am not nearly naive enough to believe that we can suddenly start agreeing with each other on society’s most divisive issues. In fact, I believe that difference of opinion and competition between ideas is actually a good thing – if we handle them the right way. But much of what we see in the form of public discourse is not what I consider the right way. There is certainly no shortage of passion, but there is a clear lack of respect.

If we are going to maintain a safe and civil society (something we all want), we must begin showing respect to those with whom we disagree. Name-calling and mocking are not signs of civility. They are signs of disrespect and desperation. Not only do they create an atmosphere of hostility, they also undermine our message and our legitimacy as messengers.

Perhaps flippant disrespect is so rampant in public discourse because it is infinitely easier than reasonable persuasion. It takes far less effort and skill to call someone a bad name via Facebook or Twitter than it does to lay out a detailed and convincing ideology that represents one’s personal thoughts and beliefs. It might be more challenging, but I strongly believe that we are all better off if each of us takes the time to think about what we want to say in public forums before we say it.

The key to a positive and productive society is respectful and thoughtful discussion and yes, disagreement, on the important issues that affect us all. I know I can be more graceful in how I respond to those with whom I strongly disagree. What do you think? Do you have any suggestions as to how we can promote a more respectful society when there are so many opposing views held by so many people?

 1 Comment

 Posted on April 28, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     , , , , ,

Live, Love, and Learn (5/12/16)

headphone-girl.jpg

Sometimes nothing soothes an aching soul like the warm embrace of your favorite song.

“People haven’t always been there for me, but music has.” ― Taylor Swift

Most everyone in my life has been there when I needed them. I’ve been fortunate in that regard. But I’d be lying if I said that every single person has been there every single time. There have been times when I couldn’t find a friend. During those times, I’ve been blessed to have music that comforts me.

My favorite songs by my most cherished artists have often filled my ears with words of solace. Modern technology makes it easier to hear these songs of consolation, so I am able to hear those old familiar voices wherever  I go. I am often reminded of the days when we would have to wait to hear our favorite songs on the radio, so the instant access associated with today’s technology is a godsend. When the sweet strains of nostalgia are needed, I can simply dial up my old musical friends and let them sing and play to my heart’s content.

I have spent countless hours talking with friends and family, often finding refuge in their company and attention. Nothing can ever fully replace the human element, as we will always need to see familiar faces and hear friendly voices. But I have come to realize that sometimes nothing soothes an aching soul like the warm embrace of your favorite song.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 25, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

Live, Love, and Learn (4/25/16)

angry-child

Are you a good parent? If so, your kids will eventually be angry with you.

“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” – Bette Davis

At some point, you will make a decision that is in the best interest of your child and that he or she completely disagrees with. Hence, your child will be extremely displeased with you. In fact, that displeasure might even turn into a form of hatred. But fear not: The hatred is temporary, and our kids are better off if we are more interested in doing what’s best for them than pleasing them. It is far easier in the short run for your kids to never be angry with you. In the long run, however, they will benefit by your willingness to occasionally tick them off.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 25, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

Live, Love, and Learn (4/22/16)

child-watching-parents

Your actions speak volumes to your kids, so consider the message you are sending. 

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” – Robert Fulghum

You’ve heard it said that actions speak louder than words. Nowhere is that more true than in the home. Kids see and hear everything we do. They are curiously waiting to see how we behave in certain situations. The most important thing about their constant surveillance of us is that it will greatly influence how they act in the future. Just as our words will make or break a child’s self-esteem, our actions will determine their behavior when they are older.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 22, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

Live, Love, and Learn (4/21/16)

fatherson

You can look forward to your child’s future if you prepare him for it. 

“We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

In the above quote, FDR summarizes the reason why we as parents should feel anxious about our child’s future and the way by which we can feel peace about it. It would be a source of much joy if we could perfectly plan every detail of our child’s life, with happiness, peace, and safety neatly mapped out for them. But we can’t. What we can do is properly prepare them for all the unforeseen people and events that await them, both good and bad. Let’s raise our children as though their futures depend on it. Because they do.

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 21, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

Surviving the Road Trip Blues: Five Things Kids Do that Could Ruin Your Road Trip (If You Let Them)

Two children fighting in the backseat of a car

Road trips with kids are fun, right? They can and should be, but beware of these five annoying/distracting/exhausting behaviors.

Behold, the warm weather is upon us. That must mean that long family road trips are on the horizon. I love these outings, as they provide a welcome change from everyday life and a golden opportunity to spend time with some of my favorite people. There are, however, certain things that make long trips with the kids a less than pleasant experience.

While I typically like to focus on the positive side of things, in this post I am going to discuss five things that you should be aware of as you embark on your trip. In short, these are five childish behaviors that can absolutely ruin your trip. Take note and prepare yourself, lest your vacation be unexpectedly spoiled from the get-go.

Bathroom breaks: Yes, at some point we all need to go. It’s life. But nothing can be more frustrating for you, the adult driver who used the bathroom right before you left, than hearing the dreaded “I need to go!” 15 minutes into your trip. You ask the seemingly rhetorical question “Did you go before we left?” – knowing full well that no, your little one did not go before you left. You just got past all the dreaded traffic of the city, and you finally made it onto the highway. And now the kid wants to stop? Ugh!

Fighting: This one is pretty much inevitable if you intend to travel any longer than, oh, I don’t know…20 LOUSY MINUTES!!! It’s going to happen, despite the generally passive nature of even your calmest/coolest/sweetest kid. If kids are traveling together for any extended amount of time, expect anything from mild bickering to, God forbid, a WWE bout in the backseat.

And yes, this brawling usually happens just as you are attempting to navigate the most stressful traffic situations. Stuck between two massive trucks on a frighteningly narrow overpass? That is exactly the moment when your son will let out a piercing scream because his brother has pinched, bit, or smacked him. It’s going to happen, so be ready to remain calm and focused, knowing that you will handle the dispute once you are safely off the road. Barring a headlock that is depriving one of your children of oxygen, nothing that happens in the backseat should steal your attention from where it needs to be: the road.

Whining: The least pleasant sound in the entire universe is the long and drawn out whine of a road-tripping child who has decided that he or she is ready for the trip to end. It might be a high-pitched whine, or it could be a low and rolling grumble. Either way, your kid wants out.

Whining is usually a bit more predictable than the other behaviors on this list, as it typically happens after several hours on the road. And beware: The whining often starts off innocently enough with a simple “Are we there yet?” Those are some of the most dreaded words heard by any parent who has ever taken their kids anywhere. If your child has not been taught the fine art of biding his or her time while you travel, you might be in for a hellish ride.

Personal space concerns: Most of us adults grasp the concept of personal space. As you probably already know, kids do not. And the concept seems even more foreign to them when they are stuck in a car for an extended period. “Molly is on my side!” or “Paul put his feet on me!” are the types of nerve-wracking refrains you should prepare for.

It almost seems as though the longer your trip goes, the more space each kid wants. Set clear and easy to understand boundaries for your kids, reminding them that respecting each other’s personal space always works both ways.

Noise galore: There shall be noise. Lots of noise. If you are like me, you occasionally encourage the overwhelming surround sound by leading a sing-along or by blasting your favorite song as it comes on the radio. Our intentions are good, but we often unleash a sonic beast that could take hours to tame.

Kids love to yell. They love to sing. They love to bang on toys. Anything that makes noise, they love. Keeping your kids from indulging in loud and oftentimes annoying sounds is next to impossible, so indulge them once in a while. When you have a nice open stretch of road (and you’re not being sandwiched by two massive trucks), let them make noise. But they need to understand that nonstop yelling is both inconsiderate and dangerous, as you need to be able to concentrate to guarantee the safety of everyone in the car.

These five road trip behaviors have, time and time again, proven to be major headaches. I adore my kids and I love spending time with them. But these five negative behaviors often leave me wondering: “Should we have just stayed home instead?”

 

 

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 18, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     , , , , ,

Spring Cleaning (Part 2)

Keeping-the-house-clean-takes-super-strength-000026545021_web

Don’t look under your couch for inspiration to clean. Check out this list of tunes that will definitely get you swiffing and sweeping.

In my last post, I stated that developing a positive attitude is the best way to get yourself motivated to dive into the now necessary task of Spring cleaning:

“A positive approach to life’s dirty and potentially depressing tasks rarely happens by accident. In order to have a positive and productive attitude, you must choose to do so. A handful of simple steps can ensure that you begin your cleaning activities in the proper mental state.” 

One extremely important ally in your battle to maintain a positive mindset while undertaking unpleasant tasks is music. The right music can provide hours of inspiration by altering your mental approach while revving up your heartbeat to accomplish the job at hand. Below are ten songs I highly recommend you listen to before and during your next attempt at Spring cleaning. Enjoy!

1. “Come On, Eileen” – Dexys Midnight Runners

Of course I need to place this song at the top of my list. The band is literally begging me, by name, to get moving! Luckily for me and my house, they always succeed.

2. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” – Queen

What else could get us sweepin’ and swishin’ like Freddie Mercury pretending to be Elvis? That is exactly what this song sounds like, and is a must for anyone needing inspiration to start cleaning.

3. “Listen to the Music” – The Doobie Brothers

This ’70s classic by The Doobie Brothers is the ultimate feel-good, sing-along tune. And when it’s time to clean, feeling good and singing along is a must!

4. “Billie Jean” – Michael Jackson

The King of Pop gave us the perfect cleaning inspiration when he wrote “Billie Jean.” The opening drum beat is infectious, and is the perfect way to get yourself moving. Thank you, Michael.

5. “Twist and Shout” – The Beatles

The unrestrained energy of this Beatles classic is pretty much the perfect motivator for spring cleaning. Plus, if John Lennon could sing until his voice gave out (it took him dozens of takes to nail the vocal on “Twist and Shout”), we can clean until we drop.

6. “Devil Went Down to Georgia” – Charlie Daniels Band

Few things can get you moving like an uptempo bluegrass tune that features a fiddle contest. This song was a 1979 hit for Charlie Daniels, and is guaranteed to be a hit for you as you shake off the winter blues.

7. “Jump” – Van Halen

This song contains perhaps the most recognizable lick on this list. The opening synth notes instantly add a pep to anyone’s step. Definitely blast “Jump” if you are dragging. It is guaranteed to get you in the proper cleaning gear.

8. “Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina & The Waves

This 1983 hit is another feel-good classic that can be counted on to improve your attitude and add a much-needed bounce to your step as you are getting ready to clean.

9. “Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns N’ Roses

This is easily the most “rock” tune on my list. From Slash’s legendary guitar intro to Axl Rose’s screeching “Where do we go now?,” “Sweet Child O’ Mine” not only works well in karaoke bars and super-sized stadiums – it also gets the job done in more intimate settings such as your living room, while you are preparing to vacuum.

 

10. “Start Me Up” – The Rolling Stones

I’m not sure what Mick and the boys had in mind when they wrote “Start Me Up,” but it might as well have been the need to get motivated for an early morning cleaning session. This iconic classic is perfect to sing along to during the very beginning stages of your Spring cleaning.

So there you have them. These are some of my favorite songs to blast when I need a boost of energy. What tunes do you recommend for getting mentally and physically prepared to take on Spring cleaning?

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 13, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

     , , , , , , , , , ,

Spring Cleaning (Part 1)

Keeping-the-house-clean-takes-super-strength-000026545021_web

A positive attitude really can make your Spring cleaning this easy.

The cold of winter has waned, and the Ides of March have passed. Spring has sprung, so it is officially time to enjoy all of the new season’s exciting activities. Finally, after several months of dealing with snow, wind, cold, and that disgusting brown stuff that forms when snow and the street meet, you are free.

Free to go ahead and open the windows, feel the breeze, and…commence cleaning? OK. I know that last one is not one of the highlights of this new season, but it is necessary. After a long and messy winter, it might be very necessary.

So how can we make the daunting job of cleaning our house a tolerable experience? Well, as with any task that we don’t naturally enjoy, it all starts with our attitude. A positive attitude can pretty much make any undesirable job more pleasant. Just ask Mike Rowe of the hit television show Dirty Jobs.

A positive approach to life’s dirty and potentially depressing tasks rarely happens by accident. In order to have a positive and productive attitude, you must choose to do so. A handful of simple steps can ensure that you begin your cleaning activities in the proper mental state:

Leave your house for a little while before you begin. If you’re preparing to clean your castle, it might help to take a break from the place before you begin. The last thing you want are feelings of resentment towards the very place in which you’ll be spending the rest of the day. Changing your environment can change your perspective. You’ll likely return to your house energized and ready to go.

Fuel yourself. Spring cleaning can be a physically exhausting experience. Feeling tired and hungry often leads to grumpiness and a lack of motivation. These are definitely not traits of an effective and efficient cleaner. Eating a protein-heavy peanut butter sandwich and drinking lots of water will give you the sustenance you need. Add in just the right amount of caffeine via coffee or tea, and you will be ready and raring to go.

Picture the end result. Forming in your head a clear picture of what your house will look like after you have finished cleaning is a great way to motivate yourself and begin the task with a positive attitude. Keep in mind how refreshing and pristine your house will look, feel, and even smell once you are done cleaning, as this is an effective way to inspire yourself. As with most goals in life (big and small), having a vision is a key element to achieving success.

Following these three steps will help you form a positive attitude before you begin your Spring cleaning. As a result, you will find the entire tidying up process much more enjoyable and productive. Happy cleaning!

 

 

 Leave a Comment

 Posted on April 7, 2016 by

 Uncatagorized

design9

design9




Put the Music Mom banner on your site!

design9

design9




Put the Music Mom banner on your site!

The Music Mom: Eileen Carey

Website Powered by WordPress.com.