One of the most recently discussed topics on social media has been the unfortunate trend of mom-shaming. If you’re not familiar with it, mom-shaming is when one mother publicly criticizes the parenting skills of another mother. It is impossible to overestimate the impact of social media on the rise of mom-shaming, as it has become ridiculously easy to make disparaging comments on forums such as Facebook and Instagram.
I feel strongly that, aside from calling out blatantly inappropriate parenting practices, we should support each other as mothers. We have the toughest job in the world, and the truth is that none of us are perfect parents.
I want to suggest some ways by which we can lift up our fellow moms. Taking these steps will ensure that we don’t undermine each other as we continue doing the most important job of our lives.
1. Instead of spreading more online negativity, focus on the positive when commenting on social media.
It is so incredibly easy to find fault in every little thing our fellow moms do. Instead of making a comment about a mom who constantly lets her kids stay up too late, share an article on the benefits of our kids getting a good night’s sleep. You obviously don’t want to share it in the comments section of the post that brought the issue to your attention. Neither should you tag the offending mom, as that it is extremely passive aggressive. Wait for the right time. You’ll be spreading some good parenting advice into the world without stepping on the toes of a fellow mom.
2. Instead of judging the way moms dress their kids, share cool ideas and great sales for kids clothing.
Instead of gossiping about how a mom dresses her kids, why not share with the world the fashion tips that make your kids so stylish? Since you can’t know why a mom dresses her child the way she does (perhaps her family is experiencing financial difficulties), it is never appropriate to publicly judge a child and mother in this way. Plus, we all want to be known as parents who value people for things other than their physical appearance, so I suggest making fashion a source of goodwill and fun.
3. Instead of criticizing the actions of other kids, consistently model for your children the proper way to act and talk.
Rather than publicly insulting a mom for something her son or daughter said in school or on the playground, be a shining example of how your kids should interact with others. Keep in mind that your actions and words are being constantly observed. You have an opportunity to do much more good by treating all people with respect than by calling out the inappropriate behaviors of someone else’s child.
4. Instead of making a judgment regarding whether or not a mother breastfeeds her baby, assume that all moms are doing what they believe is best for their children.
This is one of the biggest issues facing mothers as they try to raise a healthy child. Over the past few decades, it has become more and more taboo to feed babies via formula. While we all know that there are inherent health benefits to breastfeeding, it is impossible to know why a mother has chosen to do otherwise. There are multiple health reasons for why a mom might use a bottle, so keep an open mind. This is one instance in which it is always better to mind your own business.
We moms know what is best for our kids. Parenting is tough enough without facing random and unwanted critiques, so be a supportive woman and do what you can to make sure you’re not shaming moms. After all, we all want the same thing: to raise healthy, happy, and well-adjusted children who love us with all their hearts.
The Music Mom: Eileen Carey 