You’ve probably heard the saying “if mom is happy, everyone is happy.” My experience has definitely shown this to be true. Often, though, we forget the many varied ways by which we can find happiness. We are taught from day one of motherhood that our happiness and contentment must come solely from our kids – and that choosing to spend time away from them for any reason is a sign that we don’t care about them as much as other moms care for their kids. Unfortunately, many of us believe this lie.
Being a mother is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. It’s also the most rewarding. Due to the wonder and joy it brings, I wouldn’t trade being a mother for anything. Yet, I still find it very necessary to pursue my talents, my dreams, and my favorite activities. Here’s why I suggest you pursue some quality alone time for the purpose of chasing that career you’ve always wanted or that hobby you’ve always dreamed of.
You are, believe it or not, your very own person!
It really seems as though sometimes folks forget this. While we are, as moms, 100% responsible for our children’s wellbeing, that shouldn’t mean that we neglect our own mental and physical wellness. So often we allow ourselves to exist solely for others, thus leading to a life that is only half as fulfilling as it could be. It is so important to rediscover the things we love – and then to find time to do them. Demand from yourself and from others permission to focus on yourself. By doing so, you will soon see that your self-awareness and self-care cause you to be a better mother.
Give yourself some time and distance from your kids, knowing that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
This one is tough. Modern mothers are essentially forced into feeling guilty if they spend even one minute away from their kiddies. You must reject the social (and often self-imposed) pressure that comes with that mentality. Like all people and things that you love, spending a little bit of time apart from your kids will inevitably lead to a greater sense of enjoyment when you finally reunite. You will also feel incredibly refreshed, filled with more energy and patience than you ever imagined. Yes, you adore your child. None of us here doubt that. So do what is best for him and you by getting away for an hour, an afternoon, or even a day, if time allows. Both of you will be better for it in the long run.
You want to make your children proud of you and your gifts and skills, so spend time working on them.
Do your kids know what your hobbies, passions, and interests are? If not, they should. Share them and then take some time to develop your talents. You will very quickly discover that your children are impressed with you for having such interesting skills that they never even knew of. Nothing beats overhearing your kids telling their friends about your unique skills. Not only is it cool to hear them bragging about you, but you will also do them a great service by teaching them the values of practice, hard work, and belief in one’s self.
Eventually your kids will grow older and move on, so be the best you possible.
I don’t need to remind you that one day your kids are going to be out of your house. The realization that the time you have with them is not infinite should inspire you to make the most of the here and now. One effective way to do this is to be the best you possible. This requires you taking care of your mental and physical shape. Don’t lose sight of yourself and your needs. Finding alone time and pursuing your interests are two ways by which you can be the best mom possible.
The Music Mom: Eileen Carey 